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How to Keep Passion Alive

Posted by Dr. Ellen Kreidman on

We are so caught up in our daily routine that we forget all about keeping closeness and passion alive. Many times we're not even aware that this change has occurred, but one day we wake up and realize with a shock that we are living as roommates instead of lovers.

Living with a good friend means there is mutual respect, common interests, companionship, and security, but no passion. It may not be the worst thing that can happen, but I'm here to tell you that you can keep your best friend and get your lover back too.

Engaging in a ten-second kiss every day declares that you are lovers- not just roommates. It helps you stay connected. Even though you may tell your mate you love them every day, giving them a ten-second kiss tells them, "I'm still in love with you." 

The ten-second kiss has a more immediate and dramatic effect on a relationship than any other homework I've ever assigned. Given in the morning, it sets the tone for the rest of the day. Given early in the evening, it sets the mood for the rest of the night. No matter what time of day you kiss, you'll feel warm, close, and connected. The casual kiss, the peck on the cheek are ways of saying our relationship is comfortable, platonic. In order to go from pleasant to passionate, you have to feel how delicious and meaningful a ten-second kiss really is.

I use this exercise in all of my seminars because I want to demonstrate to people that it doesn't matter whether they feel like kissing each other or not: the result of the ten-second kiss is the same. They may feel distant, annoyed, embarrassed, humiliated, or uncomfortable before the kiss. But when they do it anyway, the result of their action is a feeling of connection, warmth, safety, tenderness, and even passion. Usually, the ones who resist it the most are the ones who enjoy it so much they refuse to stop even when the time is up.

Knowledge is Power

What you are about to read is the most valuable information you’ll ever receive regarding your love life. It is so valuable that you should read it several times, underline it, say it out loud, write it down on a separate note card, and share it with everyone!We fall in love with a man or a woman because of “the [...]

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Conflict leads to Growth not to divorce - Dr. Ellen Kreidman PhD.

For every action there is a reaction. For every trait there is a response to that trait. You must learn to react in a positive way and stop being judgmental. When you concentrate on a man’s strengths instead of his weaknesses, you get more positive behavior.During an appearance on the Johnny Carson show many years [...]

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Unconditional Love - Dr Ellen Kreidman PhD. Marriage & Relationship Expert

Unconditional LoveIn one of Dr. Ellen’s lectures on “Unconditional Love” she talked about Lois who had decided to call it quits after twenty-two years of marriage. “Enough is enough,” Lois said Dr. Ellen first met her. I want to light him on fire – not light his fire. Lois couldn’t understand why her husband didn’t [...]

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Surviving Infidelity - Strategies and Advice from Dr. Ellen Kreidman PhD.

If you are having a hard time dealing with surviving infidelity then you've come to the right site. I'm sure you have so many questions racing through your mind like "How could I possibly be faced with an infidelity issue when we started out so much in love?" How could he/she do this to me? Surviving [...]

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Saving Your Marriage. When to Get Expert Marriage Advice

Most marriages repeatedly undergo phases where the couples may for one reason or another start to drift apart. Whether the strife takes place over a prolonged period or suddenly, it does not always mean that the couple needs to part ways. Relationship therapy offers straightforward ideas to help couples open up to each other more effectively. Noticing some signs [...]

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Your Promise, My Promise

I want you to promise me that, from this moment on, you will take full responsibility for your own happiness. You can always find someone else who is willing to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, but no matter who it is – a marriage counselor, your spouse, a parent, a friend, or even [...]

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Two Questions For Self-Discovery

To be true to yourself is to be in a state of grace. To find out if you are being true to yourself, ask yourself these two important questions: 1) If I weren't getting paid for what I'm doing, would I continue to do it? If the answer is yes, you are doing what you want to [...]

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Who are you?

In order to be happy, we have to know ourselves – to know what it is that we really enjoy doing. I believe we all begin life knowing who we are and what makes us happy, but we leave our true selves behind in an effort to please the meaningful adults in our lives. As [...]

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Fill up your love cup!

During the past ten years, I have collected ideas from women about ways that they fill up their love cups. Maybe some of these ideas will help you take better care of yourself.Hire a housekeeper to come in every week, or every other week.Hire a baby-sitter for a few hours each day or each week.Schedule a [...]

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